11 Things My Life Doesn’t Need

Sam Davidson is part of Reverb10, which is an online event dedicated to reflecting on 2010 and manifesting what is to come in 2011. Sam contributed this question: “What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?”

The 11 Things that My Life Doesn’t Need in 2011

(I’m going to count down from 11…because that’s more fun!)

11. Negative People

I used to just put up with negative people because I don’t like to make enemies, or even make anyone upset. In 2011, however, I don’t want negative people in my life, so I’m going to do what must be done in order to weed them out. I’m not going to be mean, but I am going to be real with them. Some people don’t actually realize that they’re negative, and sometimes they can turn from being a negative person to a positive person just by bringing that to their attention, so I feel that I owe it to them and their life to do so.

10. Negative Environments

Sometimes you can’t control what environment you live in, but most often you can. In 2011 I’m going to extract myself from the negative environments that I’ve been in and put myself into more positive and uplifting environments.

9. Unnecessary Stress

There are two kinds of stress: Healthy Stress and Unhealthy Stress. Healthy Stress is what keeps us moving throughout the day. It tells us to watch what we’re doing when we’re driving, to concentrate on the work that needs to get done, etc. Unhealthy Stress is everything extra. Like when we get pissed off at the person who cut us off, get upset about something our boss said or did, and worry about being fat. Those things are extra stress that we put on ourselves unnecessarily. I don’t want that kind of stress in 2011.

8. Financial Stress

This is one kind of Unhealthy Stress that I am a master of. I have always worried about money since I was a kid. I’m not really sure why, but it’s been in my blood from a very young age. I would like to shed this type of stress in 2011 please. Thank you :-)

7. Momentless Moments (non-present moments)

It’s so easy to go throughout the day without really being present. I didn’t really know what it meant to “be present” until I read The Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hanh. Do yourself a huge favor and get this book. I have my brother and three friends reading it, with 3 friends lined up behind them to borrow it when everyone is done. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Thank you Thich Nhat Hanh for being a contribution in this world.

6. Control (trying to control things that are out of my control)

I’m not a control freak, but I still sometimes try to control situations that are outside of my control, and that’s just dumb. All it does is leave me with a sense of helplessness, and it’s my fault. In 2011 I will take control of the things that are within my control (work, relationships, etc.) and allow the other things to just be what they’ll be.

5. Insincere Relationships

I live in Orange County, CA and between here and Los Angeles it is safe to say that it is a breeding ground for fake relationships (entertainment, music, etc. scenes). But, all is not lost! I have found that the majority of social media people that I meet tend to be genuine people, and I have really been drawn to that crowd. There are still a lot of real people here in OC/LA outside of the Social Media world, and I’m looking forward to developing relationships with them in 2011.

4. Money

Don’t get me wrong, I want to earn more money in 2011 than I did in 2010, but what I mean is that I want to spend less money in 2011. I want to master the art of minimalist living so that I can beef up my savings account and spend that money on some of my goals (travel, etc.).

3. Wine Soda

I don’t know what I was thinking when I first put wine down, I can’t be without that! But soda I can be without. It’s a beverage that holds zero nutritional value (that I know of) and goes right to the saddlebags. No thanks.

2. Distractions

There’s nothing that can be done about distractions that are outside of my control, so those will still be present in 2011. Distractions that are within my control, however, will be greatly diminished in 2011. What does that look like? Saying no to friends who want to hang out when I have work that needs to get done; allotting specific times to get specific things done (ie blog posts) so that I’m not wasting time on the internet for hours without any set direction; and actually sticking to the schedule that I lay out for myself on a daily basis.

1. Me (more specifically, my ego)

People who know me would probably tell you that I’m a fairly humble person, but ego shows up in a variety of ways. In this instance, I’m counting “ego” as any time I consider my own self without considering others. Notice I didn’t say considering others and not myself, that’s not healthy. You have to make yourself number one, because otherwise you won’t know yourself and you’re bound to get lost. What I’m saying is that there have been times in 2010 when I only considered myself, and I don’t want there to be space for that in 2011. For me, 2011 is all about giving to other people. In the end, that’s what makes me enthusiastic.

What about you? What are some things that your life doesn’t need in 2011? Put it in the comments below, let’s keeps each other accountable!

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  • Lucifer

    Hmmm, I see the only way to obtain these things are to join a monastery. Otherwise its all talk. Making oneself feel warm and fuzzy because you really can’t commit to what you say. Or you really are disgusted with yourself and its easier to blame. “I going to weed them out”. Kinda the same words Hitler said about the Jews. If you don’t agree then eliminate.

    Monasteries are atmosphered controlled with rules and work that most can’t maintain or realize. If it was easy you’d find monasteries on every corner.

    Most profound writing come from negative pressure unlike you probably will ever experience or want to. Our world is and always will be made of all types stresses you can’t get away from. The more you run away and denounce the more you unable to deal with just plain normal everyday stresses. Its evident you have never raised children or will raise children in the future because 50% is dealing with everything you are running from.

    Ask any parent: stress, financial issues, negative and time for ones self just what a parent is, thus must be the way or procreation wouldn’t be as easy or fun as it is. What with the high rate of single moms, its evident that most men run from the very vices of rearing and raising children.

    If all these normal things truly bother you, then join a monastery…OR learn how to operate within the sphere of life and move on and spend more time improving yourself and finanes than spouting what is simply warm and fuzzy fiction.

    One last thing, out right socialism hasn’t and won’t work, period. Its been tried and failed with serious negative results. Why…because a PERSON is in charge and makes the rules you will follow or suffer certain consequences that most often is death or “The Gulag”. History shows us it doesn’t work. Unless exterminating everyone that doesn’t agree with you is ok!!
    NOT!!

    • http://www.kaizenways.com Jeff Friend

      Thank you for participating, I appreciate the time you spend on your comments :-)

      • http://dawnya-everythingnonsense.blogspot.com Dawnya

        Haha…you’re awesome. Tell him to see Item #11.

      • http://dawnya-everythingnonsense.blogspot.com Dawnya

        I already refuse to have negative people in my life and I don’t drink soda…but most of the others are on my 2011 list too. (You gave me a heart attack when you put down “wine”…don’t scare me like that again!) 😉

  • http://notixtech.com Matt

    Jeff,

    I love this. Simply love it. On “5. Insincere Relationships”, funny, I’ve noticed that too. Some of the people I’ve met via the social media scene in the OC are really … well, real people. I admire that. (You being one of them)

    7. Momentless Moments

    So many times I’m physically present, but not mentally. I need to focus on this too. I need learn how to turn on and off my brain when it comes to thinking.

    On the same page about negative people/negative environments. More the negative people thing… I know a few people and I need to slowly stop investing in those relationships. After meeting people like you in the OC, I sometimes wish I lived closer to the OC.

    Hah, anyway, looking forward to this year :) Thanks for sharing your plans. (Whether or not sharing your goals was a smart move, we can wrestle with later ;))

    • http://www.kaizenways.com Jeff Friend

      Thank you for this comment Matt, it helps to know that there are other people in the same boat. You do live WAY out there! But who knows what’s around the corner for you man. I appreciate everything you do and say, and it makes an impact.

    • http://www.kaizenways.com Jeff Friend

      Hey Matt,

      Thank you for this comment man, it means a lot to me.

  • http://www.sukhrajbeasla.com Sukhraj Beasla

    Ah, there are so many on this list that I relate to very well. #11 is big on my list this year. It really affects me so I just don’t want that energy present in my life and this year is all about building a solid foundation for myself. I’m sick of living on shaky ground (and I don’t mean earthquakes) – just being at a point of security, comfort, and overall happiness. :)

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